i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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