Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
