So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.