Where is the hickey?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible