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you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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