I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
porn star boner night. come get it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.