Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

capris are just wrong

(703): View more from Virginia

its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"

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(440): View more from Ohio

It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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(418): View more from Quebec

You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

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(518): View more from New York

Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

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(314): View more from Missouri

She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.

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