The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
