I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
