what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
