absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
