Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize