I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
