my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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