He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize