So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
