I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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