ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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