He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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