well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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