I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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