I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
