My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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