what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize