So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
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I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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