we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
