It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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