all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
