the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
