dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
