One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
