it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize