I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
