Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
