You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
