Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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