the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
