I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
