hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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