we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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