omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
