Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
