whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
