All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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