It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
