I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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