I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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