i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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