dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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