I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
