Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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