I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
