That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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