I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
