Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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