I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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