you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
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we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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