also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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