yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
