i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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