we made out on top of his cat.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
